What’s your typical dress?  I guess, it’s probably what they ask for? 

What they ask for. I always wear a skirt and heels or a dress and heels.  I never wear pants.  Someone actually said that to me once, ‘Do you own any pants?’  No, I always look like this…This is what I dress like all the time…I vacuum in heels…You idiot! 

What was your craziest request for clothes? 

Oh my god, it’s just ridiculous, these people with the fucking clothes...on the one hand my work clothes are all very nice, my whole persona is the professional business woman out for the evening.  You know, so I never do pants, always a skirt, or dress and heels, and hose. She always wears hosiery and, of course, She is always wearing the matching bra and panty set.  She does not mismatch!  All of my work stuff is perfect and it’s expensive and I’ve spent a lot of time and money acquiring it.  But it has to be very specific. You know, I need something that I can take off easily, something that I can’t take off over my head, and sometimes I do enjoy getting dressed up not for work just because you have so many more options when you don’t have to take it off.  It’s amazing!  You can just wear such different stuff when it doesn’t have to look good taking it off, like the zipper on the side, yeah; there ain’t no way to make that look sexy.  There’s no way.  That fashion is completely off limits. Or like those shirts that look like they’re two pieces but they aren’t. That confuses people so that fashion is completely off limits.  It’s a little bit frustrating.  So it’s a little bit cool sometimes to have non-work clothes because it’s like, ‘Oh, it is better to put the zipper there!'  These people aren’t randomly chosen, they chose me, they’re not a random sampling of the population, they’re people who have been attracted to my advertising, or to my body, so they’re not random and they’re people who I did a good job for or they wouldn’t have called again.  If I’m not good at whatever it is they like they are going to go call somebody else so again they’re not a random sampling.  I’ve also noticed that sometimes somebody will ask for something specific and I’ll be like, okay, well now I bought the damn thing, I own it, who else can I wear it for?  And, frequently, they’ll be like, ‘Oh that’s great,’ and I’m like good purchase!  As a bigger girl, I never go braless right? And I never go without hosiery etc. and these people with the sundresses…sundresses…what is that?  They are not flattering, they’re uncomfortable and they’re not meant for me, alright? And sweater dresses, same thing.  Sweater dresses are hideous on the real sized woman and they don’t even make them in my size, right?  I think.  I’ve never found any… It’s awful!!  I’m just stuffing myself like a sausage into these incredibly way too tight sweater dresses! Not comfortable! 

And that’s a big request? 

Sweater dresses.  I hate sweater dresses.  Do you know how many fucking sweater dresses I own?  And you can’t wear them for anything else because they’re ugly.  That or coats with nothing underneath, do you know how many trench coats I own?  Which, I’m not tall enough for trench coats.  I can’t wear them for anything else because they’re hideous.  That and anything sheer, or see through or, and this didn’t bother me so much when I was younger, but the micro miniskirts.  I’m 35 and I wear a 16; that is not attractive, it’s just not.  I do not understand it.  And some people are really specific you know with the…I liked life better before the internet was so big because now they’ll find a picture and they’ll be like, ‘Can you do that?’  Oh Jesus.  And it’s always something ridiculous.  But they’re never specific enough because I can’t locate that exactly, so then you have to start saying, ‘So what is it you like? Is it the color, the fabric, what is it about it you enjoy?’  And they can never fucking pin it down.  And then of course they see it on a model and it isn’t the same as on a real person.  I have this one hose.  Someone specifically said can you buy me these hose.  I go out, I buy the hose, and they have the large, the fence net, but of course they don’t have a crotch.  Yeah.  That’s attractive.  And the first time I put this on I thought, 'Oh god.'  And then, of course, when he sees me in it I could have just fucking hit him.  He goes, ‘Are those the same hose?’  Yes, they’re exactly the same.  Fuck you!  So I get a lot of requests, people are very specific, they want thigh highs with the lace pattern and a back seam, or they want thigh highs with a lace pattern and no back seam, or they want thigh highs with a lace pattern and the re-enforced toe but not a re-enforced heel.  It’s like where do you get this shit?